The difference between advice and backbiting

Shaykhul Islaam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Reference: Ar-Ruh (The Soul) by Ibnul Qayyim: P.357.

Category: Methodology

The difference between advice and backbiting is that the intent behind advice is to warn the Muslim against an innovator, deceiver or an evil doer. So you will mention about him that which is necessary if one was to seek counsel from you about his companionship, having business transactions or any type of attachment with him as the Messenger صلى الله عليه و سلم said to Faatimah Bint Qays when she went to him seeking counsel concerning marriage to Mu'aawiyah (Ibn Abi Sufyaan) or Abu Jahm, so he صلى الله عليه و سلم said to her:

"As for Mu'awiyyah then he is a poor man and as for Abu Jahm then he used to beat his women."

...(as explained in a narration in Saheeh Muslim: Hadeeth: 1480-47. The chapter of divorce), and some of his (Abu Jahm's) companions used to advise those who traveled with him that when you leave his land (where he is known) then be cautious of him ( i.e. be cautious of marring him because he is known for beating his women).

So if Backbiting occurs in a manner in which it is advice for the pleasure of Allaah and loving the sunnah of His Messenger صلى الله عليه و سلم and (loving) His slaves from amongst the Muslims, then it is a means of closeness to Allaah and from hasanaat (the acts of good). And if it takes place in a manner where it is to humiliate your brother and to tear up his honor and to take delight in his flesh and to bite at it and to lower his place from the hearts of the people, then this is a disease that is incurable and a fire of hassanaat (good deeds) that burns them just as fire burns up wood.

Translator: Shadeed Muhammad, Abu Az-Zubayr

When afflicted with calamity, people divide into four levels:

, by Shaykh al-'Uthaimeen (rahimahullaah)
Lowest level (Discontent)

a- In the heart - as if angry with Allaah - and so he rails against what Allaah has ordained for him [This is haram; could lead to kufr]

b- Invoking woe, destruction [Haram]

c- Physical - tearing clothes, slapping cheecks [Haram]


Second level (Patience)

So he considers it heavy, yet he bears it, although he hates it should occur and his eeman protects him - by Allaah's Permission - from discontent. So it happening and not happening are not the same to him. This is wajib (obligatory), because Allaah commanded us to be patient: Surely, Allaah is with those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.). (Al-Anfal 8:46)


Third Level (Acceptance)

That a person accepts misfortune, so that its presence or absence is the same. Its (the calamity's) presence is not hard on him, and this is preferred, although not wajib.


Fourth Level (Gratitude)

This is the highest level. It is by thanking Allaah for the misfortune which has befallen because he knows that this misfortune is a cause of his sins being remitted and it might be a cause of his reward being increased. The Prophet (salallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "There is no misfortune that afflicts a Muslim except that Allaah remits a sin from him because of it, even the prick he receives from a thorn."


Source: Fataawa on 'Aqidah, pp. 193-194

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Sins generate more sins, and one leads to another, until they overpower a man and he finds it difficult to repent from that. As one of the earlier generation said: One of the punishments of bad deeds is more bad deeds, and one of the rewards of good deeds is more good deeds.

Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi (p. 36)